I didn't switch on my air-con last night, so with my windows left wide open and the fan blaring at me I was staring at the super round and yellow moon and observing the wisps of clouds which were drifting in front of it.
Started thinking... OMG the moon is so round, spring tide season, the tides will be rough. But then again, now is the monsoon changing season, so yes, the sea is going to be rough.
Then i started wondering, there's no-one to surf, paddle, go to the beach, with anymore. No one...
And i felt this horrid pang of emptiness that what i used to love doing so much, is slowly drifting away from me. Just because of work, because of tiredness, because of not being able to communicate with the juniors, because some ppl are just plain asses and jerks (ok now i'm just getting angry, think should ignore me)
I didn't cry last night, i'm over the crying part. long long over it. But the emptiness was still there, and i wished for it to be removed but it's really not easy.
I really hope what i'm doing in the future, will help fill my emptiness, sadness. I sometimes feel i'm so messed up that I don't know what to do.
I got hungry after pondering so long in bed and not being able to sleep, so I found some left-over turkey in the fridge and made a turkey sandwich. The sandwich for some wierd reason, made me feel more at ease, happier, lighter. (Maybe I was just hungry... I don't know). So i went back to bed and continued staring at the moon for a while before drifting off to sleep.
Started thinking... OMG the moon is so round, spring tide season, the tides will be rough. But then again, now is the monsoon changing season, so yes, the sea is going to be rough.
Then i started wondering, there's no-one to surf, paddle, go to the beach, with anymore. No one...
And i felt this horrid pang of emptiness that what i used to love doing so much, is slowly drifting away from me. Just because of work, because of tiredness, because of not being able to communicate with the juniors, because some ppl are just plain asses and jerks (ok now i'm just getting angry, think should ignore me)
I didn't cry last night, i'm over the crying part. long long over it. But the emptiness was still there, and i wished for it to be removed but it's really not easy.
I really hope what i'm doing in the future, will help fill my emptiness, sadness. I sometimes feel i'm so messed up that I don't know what to do.
I got hungry after pondering so long in bed and not being able to sleep, so I found some left-over turkey in the fridge and made a turkey sandwich. The sandwich for some wierd reason, made me feel more at ease, happier, lighter. (Maybe I was just hungry... I don't know). So i went back to bed and continued staring at the moon for a while before drifting off to sleep.
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